Learning when life is good and when it may not be so good.

I think this is another thing I have to learn yet. As in I get so worried about my main concerns and then, then I learn of the deep suffering of another and feel confused and ashamed at the worried self-gazing I was standing in, when I heard the news.

I just found out that a former classmate of mine has severe cancer in her back; such a beautiful women she is, it is hard to believe this is happening to her; gentle, land-loving, and so healthy—even her style, her way of relating to the earth – even her eating habits—were so healthy. She was our classes’ favourite reader, esp. for medieval literature; words come from her so smoothly and it was like she savoured each word that she uttered, as if they were delicious pieces of apple, sliding across the tongue. I was so surprised by hearing of her distress that I emailed everyone I could think of who knows her, and who I have email contact with. Asking everyone to pray. She and her family (husband and I think at least one young child) must be reeling with shock—I would of never thought this would happen to them. It is crazy, this. And I am not even a close friend of hers; I guess I just love and see people; we were part of the same group; English and philosophy lovers; lovers of language, words; and she sought God and I also sought God; she was at my friend’s shower and wedding; she is so beautiful. I remember having lunch with her; she came to visit me; I remember her eating an apple; two years later she visited my first home I lived in by myself; she liked the three glass candle jars I had on the window sill.

I find myself thinking, Dear God in Heaven who Saves us all, please save her and heal her of this really awful cancer;

I am at school right now, waiting to have a meeting and as soon as I get home, her, her husband’s name will go on my prayer list, in my icon corner. Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy.