Sunday, June 10, 2007

Certain Death Awaits 'The Goads'


Men of the East (east of the island),

Behold your demise. Behold, aye, and tremble. These bold hockey
warriors await you on the fields of Panorama. They are fell men,
hardened by weeks of ruthless training. Death is no obstacle, nor
skinned knees, nor winded priests. Nay, but anon you shall see their
mettle, and their valor shall shine forth in a blaze of glory, and you shall be like wet noodles under their chopsticks.

Meet them, if you dare.

Cordially yours,

the fiveyearoldswithhockeysticks

13 comments:

pasivirta said...

Big Talk from a little team.


yes, that's right. you just got burned. oooohhhhh.

matthew christopher davidson said...

Little? We have two lines this time.

matthew christopher davidson said...

Besides, DP, if you move to Victoria before June 30 you have to play on our team.

Gabe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gabe said...

I veto that!

Fr John said...

Dear Goads:

This is Fr John. My apologies for making a comment using my wife's account. I do not have a blog (or facebook) and I rarely read blogs or the internet in general. I was alerted, of course, to this post to your forum, and I wanted to use this opportunity to make a few points.

#1 - David P may or may not move anywhere, and if or when he does so it will be a decision he makes with God's guidance and his beloved priest's blessing. However, whether he is there, here, or in East Africa, he will play with his friends and for his parish, St Hermans.

#2 - No excuse is left not to come. We have organized an amazing weekend for you. Friday night(29th) there is a major (as in majorly fun) Summer Gala involving food, live music, dancing, and a silent auction. Expect to have a seriously good time Friday night. We have even offered to arrange billeting for as many as we can that night. On Saturday morning, we will be hosting you at our church for a pancake, bacon, and eggs breakfast (with GOOD coffee). Following this time of great fellowship, we will head over to a world-class, regulation arena, complete with our dressing/team rooms, an arena stereo system, a regulation score board, and microphone system. There are stands for the fans, and a swimming pool/playground for the kids. We have between-period entertainment, involving lots of fun music, a kids game, and some fan challenges. Each team will have there own players box, and there is even a penalty box. The arena itself has a special cement floor made for ball hockey, as well as netting above the glass and boards. We have arranged for a referee, a play-by-play commentator, as well as a score/time keeper. What is more, dear Goads, your priest and your deacon are coming to cheer you on and Fr Alexis is coming all the way from Comox to ref. After the game, we will have refreshments ready. The arena itself is located only ten minutes from the ferry, and the game will finish with enough time to get home in time for your Great Vespers.

We can only surmise therefore that if you still don't come, then you are (pick one, or all) a) afraid of water (the Georgia Straight), or b) afraid of ferries, or c) afraid of us (little old us). In which case, we encourage you to face your fears and be men.

#3 - We want you to know (having discussed this often as a team and church) that your presence on that weekend will be a great honour for us. We will receive you as brothers in Christ. On the rink, of course, we will destroy you (in love, and for your humility), but off the rink, you will be cherished as the children for whom God became incarnate.

So, please, listen to your deacon, and come and play. It will be a great game.

See you soon.

Fr John Hainsworth

ps. David, we may be small, but it is not our team which needs to be big.

pps. the game will begin with the corporate recitation of the Creed, and a blessing.

+++

myn said...

this is my favorite part of Fr. John's monologue: We will receive you as brothers in Christ. On the rink, of course, we will destroy you...

i will be there the whole weekend and while i will cheer on my fellow Goads...i will always love those wee five year olds from the island.

biss said...

Oh. This sounds like so much fun! I expect online video reports.
(please...)

kimberley francis said...

ah YEAH!! let's the GAMES begin!!

Ah!! It's going to be an awesome weekend. Who all's going? I know of a some. so Dave, Muryn and I. Quissys? Wildemans? Jordan (sans Vic)

Who else?

Is Jean Claude going? If not, we should totally do the cardboard cut out thing this round. :) hee hee.

Are any of the Shanghai's coming? I know the Choi's are in Ontario that weekend.

What about the Nina-ites? I bet there are some Holy Ressurectioners who could bolster the visiting team.

Matty, shall we send The Albatross Airlines out for you & Krista?

elizabeth said...

reading this, even though i live in ottawa now and have not been to st hermans in over 3 years, makes me happy. THANKS. i never root for sports as i have a general policy of sports avoidance, but if i was there i would cheer the st. hermanites on! :) enjoy this, sounds wonderful!

pasivirta said...

Moving? as was said before, I will be playing on the winning team regardless of where I call home at that particular moment. currently I type from Portland Oregon, and I can hear a slow train comin, its comin to clean up the house of the rising sun where the crushed spirits of the islanders lay in heaps in the corner, due to the loving yet firm arse kicking. that's british for we are going to win. just ask gregoire.

RW said...

Yes, the WILD E MANS are coming.

Bro Cyp said...

Oooh! I think the islanders will be handed a right shoeing, once again.

Shoeing: v. To fill in.
A shoeing is a well administered and carefully conducted physical assault on the (enemy/whoever) that at no times exceeds the reasonable use of force that a particular circumstance warrants.
A well executed assault that falls well within the reasonable use of force parameters, as agreed in court by milky handed 250K a year lawyers, is described as a "right shoeing"